Hello! My name is Katina Norman and I’m currently in the process of divorcing my narcissistic husband. Yay me! I’m almost at the finish line, so hopefully, by the time you read this blog, I am a divorced woman. Cheers!
I’m in my early 40’s and I currently work from home as a small business owner servicing entrepreneurs with business administration and video production. God hasn’t blessed me with the ability to bear children (yet), however, I do have a furbaby. My Manx’s name is Diamond, and she’s seen the narcissists in my life come and go. She’s been with me for about 20 years now, and she’s still riding.
I just recently awakened to the fact that I’ve been a victim of narcissistic abuse for over a decade, and I have a story to tell.
My soon-to-be ex-husband, who I currently refer to as my ex-husband, targeted me in 2012, which was over 11 years ago today. It was ‘love at first sight’, or so I was led to believe. What began as a magical summer night eventually turned into a nightmare rollercoaster ride of emotional abuse, physical abuse, gaslighting, trauma and a depreciation of my self-worth.
Definitely more on that later.
I called for a separation in our marriage after my ex-husband used the death of one of his baby mama’s as an excuse to stay out all night. Staying out all night was a habit that he could not seem to break away from, but this was the final time he worried me to death in the middle of the night. After numerous unanswered calls to his cell phone, calling and texting his parents and siblings, and reporting him to the police as a missing person, he finally called me back after 9AM.
When he finally returned home with half a bottle of tequila in his hand at around 10AM, his excuse was that he was “driving around and thinking all night”.
Obviously, this lie and the ones that came after it were just more attempts to abuse me emotionally so that I would remain trapped in an unhealthy relationship with him. Every smart person in his/her right mind knows good and well that when their significant other doesn’t come home at night and isn’t dead or in jail the next day, they’re up to something dark, and they want to keep it hidden.
It didn’t take long for us to go from separation to divorce because only one of us wanted to be married. During the divorce process, there was a lot of grieving and a lot of questions and a lot of regret. There was also hope, and healing. There was the inception of The Narc Project.
I am realizing that I went through my trauma to help others avoid the path I walked. That is one of the many missions I feel God has assigned to my life, so I’m okay with going through the bullshit if it means I can help someone else gain freedom and break free from a narcissist. I want to promote self-love on the deepest, realest level possible.
I am sure many of us feel confident that we love ourselves to the best of our abilities, but I think we can always find ways to love ourselves more. Love is an action, and we have to continuously pour love into ourselves daily.
I know that I love myself, and I’ve loved myself before I met my narcissistic exes. But apparently, there were certain things about myself that I did not truly love, which is why I allowed myself to be taken advantage of. This hurts to admit, but it’s true! The important thing is, I’m still learning and growing, and I’m working on loving those parts of myself that were neglected for so long.
The Narc Project is here to help others escape narcissistic abuse and heal from trauma. This blog is here as a testament to my journey which I know is only going to get better and better from here. I want to promote self love. I want to TALK ABOUT narcissistic abuse because it IS abuse. I want to make a change and expose the people that are living to take advantage of others.
I wish I had the information then that I have now. I wish there was someone to pour into me at a younger age to let me know that I deserve nothing but the best, to help me truly love myself. I understand that it was hard back then to love our black skin, our curly hair, our placement in society as black men and women. I am not blaming anyone; on the contrary, I am excited to be part of the generational shift that is happening where we love ourselves loudly and to the fullest. I am happy to be a vessel to promote true self-love and the healing of trauma from narcissistic abuse.
